80. Idle

assalamualaikum,

well, I am very3 tired today...i had an oral this morning and also class decoration at night... I did not go to terawikh because I was actually having an aching leg..so, I thought that I should have a good rest...

however, I ended up going to my classroom and decorating it for the theme of the Rememberance of al-Quds...

and there were only like 2 peoples including me that actually cam to the class to make the decorations...haha

anyway, I don't mind about that...but I really think that the way I am leading my life is so idle...

I am doing something yet I don't what exactly I am doing...

I am so close to someone yet we are actually so far away...

i know someone yet we actually don't know each other...

how can the life be so contradicting like this...hmmm

what I would like to stress out is that I am now putting my heart into something that is very big, 

but yet I am not sure if I am really doing the right thing...can I trust my instinct this time around, or my instinct would end up betraying me at the end of the day???

I really dunno...what I am afraid most is when there is a possibility of being despaired by another person and having broken heart for a heart that had actually broken down and in its way to heal...huhu

that is all...I know this post is so much rambling...but that resembles my state and situation of my mind right now which is very unstable and also confuse....

hehe....goodnight everyone...may you be blessed.. :))